Networking for Introverts in Law
    Thu., June 4, 2020 ET
    6:00 p.m.-7:30 p.m.
    MothersEsquire and Leg Up Legal
    (online event)

    Presentation Skills for Introverts® 
    Wed., July 8 & 15, 2020
    6:00-8:55 p.m. ET
    New York University
    (2-part online workshop)

    Business Writing and Presentations
    Wed., Sep. 2-Dec. 9, 2020
    6:20 p.m.-9:05 p.m. ET
    New York University
    (graduate course)


    How to "Talk the Talk" at Professional Events (free)
    Columbia University Alumni Career Services

    How to Think on Your Feet: Improv Skills for Business
    Co-facilitators: Nancy Ancowitz and Carl Kissin
    American Management Association

    How to Deliver Powerful Presentations as an Introvert
    American Management Association

    Essential Management Skills for Introverts
    American Management Association

    How to Project Confidence with Demanding People
    American Management Association

    Secrets of Successful Public Speaking
    American Management Association


    Tango for Leaders
    For organizations

    Success Strategies for Introvert Leaders
    National Institutes of Health
    (Workshop for NIH employees only)

    Publisher's Weekly
    "Best Books"
    The New York Times
    "Currently winning our race for most intriguing book title of 2009 is the oxymoronic “Self-Promotion for Introverts” by Nancy Ancowitz (McGraw Hill). The 'how to' book is filled with tips (rehearse is a favorite). The author’s tone is supportive and she does not argue that introverts should become live wires. But what else would you expect from a book whose subtitle is 'the quiet guide to getting ahead'?"
    The Wall Street Journal
    "…showing how quiet people can turn their innate strengths into an advantage when networking."
    ABC News
    "Best Book Gifts"
    Los Angeles Times
    "Whatever's behind your reluctance to speak out for yourself, this is the first book I've seen with serious research on the topic that leads to a new game plan."
    CIO Insight
    "Must-Read Fall Books for IT Execs"
    "Best New Career Books"
    "Offers a solid dose of practical advice—alongside humorous anecdotes.... Ancowitz shows introverts how to take advantage of the unique qualities and strengths they can offer."
    The Independent Consultant
    "There is great value in this book, whether you are promoting your own business or consulting practice, or just want to be sure your talents are recognized within your larger organization."
    Small Business Trends
    "Written by an introvert for introverts."
    Ft. Myers Florida Weekly
    "'Self-Promotion for Introverts' is a primer on doing just that—helping 'quiet sorts' assert themselves by using their inherent tendencies in the most effective ways."
    Women and Leadership Australia
    "Pitched perfectly. Our rating: 10/10."

Conquering the Introvert-Extrovert Communication Gap, Part 1

Getting a word in edgewise at a meeting with extroverts* can be daunting for introverts. Listening carefully without interjecting can be a stretch for extroverts. Yet we all need to do some talking and some listening to work together productively. How do we strike the right balance?

The tugs on our sleeves are different. If you’re an introvert, you feel the tug to solve problems alone in your cubicle, corner office, or Batcave. If you’re an extrovert, that sounds like solitary confinement. The tug on your sleeve is to bounce your ideas off others, brainstorming energetically out loud. However, an extrovert’s brainstorming powwow can be overwhelming for an introvert. How can you communicate well with those who are so different from you? Here’s what I share in my book, Self-Promotion for Introverts®: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead:

How introverts can communicate well with extroverts

  • Be prepared to discuss a few light conversation topics as a way of connecting with your extroverted conversation partners.
  • Arrive at meetings well rested and refreshed to help prevent sensory overload.
  • Just as you prefer to think through your ideas before you talk about them, extroverts often like to work through their ideas out loud and bound them off others. Expect to do some brainstorming at a meeting with extroverts.
  • While you may normally prefer to wait your turn to speak, be prepared to jump in when speaking at a meeting of extroverts.
  • Be patient with questions extroverts ask that seem invasive. Rather than critiquing their questions, just offer whatever you’re comfortable sharing.
  • If you’re stumped by a question, respond that you need a moment to think about it or that you’ll follow up with an answer later.
  • Recognize extroverts’ needs to have plenty of varied activities and people to talk to; an extrovert may be bored by an in-depth discussion behind closed doors with one person on a single topic.
  • Keep in mind that extroverts tend to be action oriented and to rely on the outside world for input and stimulation; balance that with your more inward focus.
  • Just as you may have deep knowledge about a few topics, appreciate extroverts’ breadth of knowledge on many topics.
  • Avoid sending extroverts long e-mails or leaving detailed phone messages. (Many busy introverts will appreciate this too!) Extroverts may skim or only focus on the first few words.
  • Remember that while you’re likely to have just a few close friends, extroverts like to know lots of people as acquaintances.

Come back next week for tips about how extroverts can communicate well with introverts. Even if you don’t need those tips, surely you know someone to forward them to. Meetings will never be the same! Meanwhile, check out “10 Ways Introverts Can Promote Themselves to Extroverts” on Monster.com.


Excerpt adapted from: Nancy Ancowitz, Self-Promotion for Introverts®: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead, McGraw-Hill, 2009, pp. 217-219.

*Also spelled “extraverts” by Carl Jung and the communities of the MBTI® and other personality assessments such as the Five Factor Model.

© Copyright 2010 Nancy Ancowitz

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